Get Off The Treadmill

This isn't a post about exercise.  In fact, if you're at the gym - get back on the treadmill.  I repeat, get back on the treadmill!

But what if you aren't on a literal treadmill?  What if - like me - you're on a figurative treadmill? 

What if you find yourself going nowhere fast?  What if you're not going "nowhere" but you aren't really going "somewhere" either?

What if you want to be great, but you find yourself stuck at good?

What if you just find yourself stuck?  In your career, in your personal life, in your health, your relationships, your faith? 


Well, then maybe you're just like me.  Ready to get off the treadmill.  Ready to move. Really move.  Move forward. 

After all - the hare didn't win the race.  Are you better off building speed and running full throttle on a treadmill?  Or are you better off slowing down a bit in order to get off the treadmill and start running (or maybe just jogging) down the road?

Interested in seeing just HOW I plan to get off the treadmill? - Check out my follow up post, Just Kick It In Gear.

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How To Journey, When the Path is Hard to Find

Haven't been here on the blog in a bit, and while I wish there was some great reason, like deciding to forgo blogging for Lent, it is a combination of being fairly busy, very stressed, and a little lazy.  My Lent did not go nearly as well as I had hoped.  My spirituality is important to me, and yet I am finding it harder and harder to make decision that support that value.  It's not about making bad decisions or doing the wrong thing, it's just about the fact that I haven't been making a conscious effort to improve my relationship with God.

 The description of a retreat I'm hoping to attend in a few weeks says it provides "tools for continuing [the] journey of faith." The tools are what I've been lacking lately! I feel like I've been approaching my spiritual journey with a compass and a book of matches, when what I really need is a GPS device and a flood light.  I'm trying to remember what I told retreatants on a START retreat once - that the path toward God is always in front of us, but sometimes it is more difficult to see. I remember telling people that sometimes the path was clear, and sometimes it was like stepping stones hidden beneath the water.  Lately, I feel like the path is a tightrope, that I must take every step carefully for fear of falling off entirely.  It is frustrating to feel forced into walking one step at a time, when all I want to do is run full speed ahead toward my Destination.

Seven Quick Takes... Spring Edition

So here I am, another 7 Quick Takes.  This time I may even remember to link up my blog over at Conversion Diary instead of just sending my (likely non existent) "readers" over to Jennifer's corner of the world.  Anyway, here it is my Seven Quick Takes spring edition! 

(1) 70 Degrees

It was 70 degrees yesterday.  Readers from other corners of the globe (aka Texans like our QuickTakes Host) may be wondering just why 70 degrees is so exciting.  But it is March in New England, and a 70 degree day is something to be celebrated, even after our mild winter!  Breezy days in the 60s or low 70s are my version of weather heaven.  I'd take 'em 350 days a year.

(2) 350 Days?

Yes, I am fully aware that there are 366 days in the year 2012, and 365 in it's non-leap year counterparts.  But I want 350 days of 65 with sunshine and a breeze, plus a week of beach weather and a week of snow.  Preferably coordinated with my vacation week and Christmas respectively.  

(3) The Winds of Pentecost

Yesterday was very, very, windy here in Western Mass!  But it was also our day to talk about the Holy Spirit at our Alpha follow-up, and my grandmother pointed out that at Pentecost the Holy Spirit came from Heaven like "a strong driving wind" (Acts 2:2).

(4) Scary Winds

Even with this concept of the Holy Spirit arriving as wind in my mind, the wind is still scary for me.  Ever since the tornadoes and micoburst in WMass last summer, I still get a little nervous every time we have a bad storm, especially one with lots of wind.  It is unfortunate because sitting on the porch and watching a lightning storm used to be one of my friends.  But I'm reminded that if I - a grown adult, who did not physically see the tornado, and was not directly affected by the tornado, and rationally knows how unlikely it is that this area will see another tornado in the near future - am so scared, then I can only imagine what the children who saw their homes, schools, and neighborhoods destroyed feel like.  There is still a lot of healing to be done in this area, and I can only pray it happens quickly. 

(5) Alpha Program

In #3 I mentioned the Alpha program.  It is a great program led by an Anglican clergyman, Nicky Gumbel, and used in Churches throughout the world.  It is used in Anglican, Episcopal, Catholic and non-denominational churches.   Gumbel, has actually spoken to the College of Cardinals on evangelization.  He also has a fabulous British accent which you can hear in all of the videos.  The program has been in my diocese for about 6 years, and is actively expanding to more Churches in our diocese.  It is a great program for evangelization to un-churched individuals, as well as  for a deepening of faith in practicing Catholics/Christians.  I highly recommend the program!  For those of you here in WMass, there is a new program starting in Chicopee after Easter, email me if you want more info!

(6) Super Tuesday

This week was Super Tuesday.  I think the only thing it did was remind me how little faith I have in our politicians.  I am not a very big fan of any of the current candidates.  I wish that for a change we could have leaders who cared about people instead of politics.

(7) Next Steps

I am 8 months into my commitment with Americorps*VISTA.  In many ways I feel like my service is just beginning.  I am just starting to feel as though I am making progress, as if I have things to do which are interesting, and meaningful.  I can't wait to see the direction our project continues to take! And then there is reality.  The reality wherein I realized that I went to a private college.  Have so much college loan debt I want to vomit just thinking about it, and likely can't afford to do another year of service.  And so, it's time to discern my next steps, and decide what happens next, and what direction I want to take with my career and my life.

Preparing for Lent

Still failing on all these Quick Takes, but someday I will manage to actually get on it! Hopefully I'll actually follow through this week, while Miss Hallie Lord/Betty Beguiles is still guest-hosting for Jen.  I'm loving this guest hosting as it gives me an excuse to make extra visits over to www.bettybeguiles.com!

Is anyone else finding it as hard to believe as I am that Lent starts NEXT WEEK! I mean, Christmas barely ended, I still have some Trader Joe's Candy Cane Joe-Joes in the cabinet.  Granted, this may be in small part due to the fact that I've been hoarding, but still, that's beside the point!  Well, believe it or not, Lent is walking up the front path, ready to be knocking at our doorstep soon enough.  I don't know about you, but I have a few things left to do before the start of Lent.  I'm sure I could come up with many, many things if I tried, but for now, here is a top ten list.

(1) Reexamine my goals 

Remember my "New Years" post back from the start of Advent?  The one where I laid out my spiritual goals for the new liturgical year? Well as practical as I tried to be, I'm not sure I succeeded in following these goals as much as I would like.  Have I made time for prayer? Yes. Well, sort of.  In other words, I haven't made as much time for prayer as I would like. Appreciating blessings is a fairly easy one, but unfortunately I can't say the same for my Bible reading. And that most important goal of all?  Making God the priority. Well, He is my priority.  No doubt on that one.  But have I been acting like it?  That's where things get questionable... 

(2) Get the sin out of my system 

No, this isn't my excuse to sin as much as possible in the next 7 days (though yes, I am human, and yes, I will undoubtedly sin).  I need to get the sin out of my system. Cast it out of my soul.  In other words, I'm a bit overdue for a trip to the Confessional.

(3) Girl Scout Cookies 

A former roommate once told me she thought Girl Scouts were evil.  She was being more than a little facetious, but she did not appreciate that the delicious Samoas, Tagalongs and Do-si-Dos always made their appearance during Lent.  Sometime in the next seven days I need to get my hands on two boxes of Thin Mints.  One is on the express train to my stomach, and the other is going to enjoy a forty day vacation in the freezer until I get home from Easter Vigil on April 7th.  

(4) Scheduling A Few Dates

If I want to start succeeding on these goals  it is time for me to accept that I'm a busy gal and it's going to take a bit of advanced planning.  For the past few years I've been taking a bit of an Ignatian approach to prayer - I've been trying to pray in my daily life, to achieve that goal of prayer at all times or contemplation in action.  Unfortunately, I took what St. Ignatius knew was a difficult task, and tried to water it into something easy.  Recently I heard the following quote, from the Catechism - "we cannot 'pray at all times' if we do not pray at specific times."  I was using the concept of prayer in action, not in order to pray at all times of my day, but as a reason not to pray at specific times of the day. I thought it was better to simply interweave my day with prayer, instead of separating a "Time" for God, I wanted Him to be part of every moment.  And this would have been great, had I been successful.  So now it is back to the drawing board, time to make "appointments with God," as one smart campus minister recommended a long time ago.  So, before Lent, I am creating a "prayer calendar" and scheduling a date with God for each of these 40 days.  

(5)  Finding A Few Buddies 

Throughout college, and during my time in the Midwest directly following college, I was blessed with a great faith community.  Initially, the loss of this was really difficult for me.  Without my faith community it was difficulty for me to sustain my faith.  Since then I realized that at times, I had come to appreciate the community more than the faith.  Instead of allowing the community to bolster my faith, I had allowed the faith to become a side note, while the community was what I really appreciated. Both were important, but I had allowed them to become so co-dependent that when one part (community) changed, I risked losing the other part (faith). Now I am starting to rebuild my faith and what it means to have a faith community.  I am looking for a few good friends to support the journey, to hold me accountable to all these dates I'm scheduling with God. Maybe we can even go on a double date together, I'm sure Jesus won't mind the extra company :)

An Advent Yes

Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception, but today's Gospel tells us the story of the Annunciation.  It is one of my favorite Scripture stories.  In my opinion one of the most important Scripture stories.  I think we are called to live Annunciation lives.  We are called to be like Mary.  To say yes to God.  Mary came to have Christ physically formed in her, and we too are called to have "Christ formed in you," (Gal 4:19).

Advent is a season of Hope. A season for saying Yes.  Advent is saying Yes to carving out prayer time.  Advent is saying Yes to recognizing the true meaning of the Season, despite the commercial hustle and bustle.  Advent is saying Yes to the plans God has for our lives.  Saying Yes to sharing a Christmas gift with that new acquaintance.  Saying yes to spending a few extra minutes writing Christmas cards to the people who have gone above and beyond in your life.  Advent is saying Yes to the journey, and following the path to Christ at all costs.  Saying Yes to the message of Christmas and the message of Christ's life.  Advent is saying Yes to God's messengers, just as Mary said yes to the Angel Gabriel.   Advent is about our willingess to say, "Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord, may it be done to me according to your word."(Lk. 1:38).

Journey on a Solitary Path

I've been a bad blogger.  Completely neglecting this blog, and I'm sorry to report similarly neglecting my spiritual journey.  I am aiming to rekindle both in the coming months.  To blog regularly, to turn my blog into real writing instead of useless self-blabber like this.  I am also aiming to rekindle my spiritual life, to find myself ignited.  This is certainly a challenge.  I am conflicted at the moment between the Church whose teaching I believe in, and the Fellowship I crave to sustain my spiritual life.  I know I believe in the tenets of my Faith, I know that I could not abandon the Eucharist for a Church where sacraments are only symbols.  I also know that "faith without works is dead," and that I truly need the fellowship and support of fellow believers to help me put the faith and the works together right now.  I am walking the path alone right now, but I'm hoping to soon find some friends to share the path.

The Journey

Welcome to my new blog, "The Journey."

I am the first to admit, that referring to life as "a journey," is a bit cliche.  We have seen it in movies, read it in books, heard it in songs.  We've been reminded by friends or parents that the journey is more important than the destination, heard retreat talks on "the faith journey."  But, like any good cliche, there is undeniable truth behind the journey analogy.  Each of us is on a physical, spiritual and emotional journey every day.  This blog aims to discuss mine.

My journey includes both easy parts and difficult. Days when the right path has a sign and an arrow, and days when the path involves a barely visible sunken log and a giant leap of faith.  There are days when the journey includes handwritten invitations, and days when a glaring orange detour sign blocks the road you know you should take.  

So whether my day involves a float on cloud nine, or nine hours stuck in the mud, I invite you to follow.  To follow the journey.  Hopefully my posts won't be as cliched as my title.